Post this on your bathroom mirror.

theangrytherapist:

Take a step back.  Fucking look at yourself.  You are human.  You are beautiful.  You are so beautiful.  And you can be anything.  You can be everything.  Do not hate everyone because someone broke your heart, or because your parents split up, or your best friend betrayed you, your father hit you, the kid down the street called you fat, ugly, stupid, worthless.  Do not concern yourself with things you cannot control.  Cry when you need to then let go when it’s time.  Don’t hang onto painful memories just because you’re afraid to forget.  Let go of things that are in the past.  Forget things that aren’t worth remembering.  Stop taking things for granted.  Stop taking life for granted.  Live for something.  Live for yourself.  Fall in love.  Fall out of love.  Fall in love.  Fall out of love.  Do this over and over until you know what it is to love someone.  Question things.  Tell people how you really feel.  Sleep under the stars.  Create.  Imagine.  Inspire.  Share something wonderful.  Meet new people.  Make someone’s day.  Follow your dreams.  Live your life to it’s full potential.  Just live, dammit.  Let go of all the horrible things in your life and fucking live.  And one day, when you’re old, look back with no regrets.

(Source: theangrytherapist)

What’s next?

Having just completed my Master’s degree (wooohooo!), I am more than just excited. I’m elated, overjoyed, beside myself, ten feet from myself, you name it. I’m enjoying the freedom of not having to rewrite my thesis for what seems like the one millionth time only to spot another error in the new version. I love that I have no impending deadlines, no exams approaching, nothing at all. It’s just me and this beautiful weather, the grin on my face and the glow in my heart. But one question is beginning to gnaw at me: what’s next? It’s a question I knew I’d have to face eventually and as a result have fired off my resume to every company that looks like they could use someone like me. I feel like I’m caught in one of those scenes in inception where the staircases are adjustable and I’m standing on the last step on my staircase except it’s not currently connected to anything. It’s just there. Suspended. Waiting for someone to do something about it. And I’m just standing there - confounded. Waiting to figure out my next move.

Sometimes figuring out what you want to do next becomes so exhausting that relinquishing that duty to someone else seems like an attractive idea. Won’t someone just walk up to me and give me a job and end this seemingly never ending quest for answers or solutions? Or at least just nudge me in the right direction. Right now, that’s what I want. Well— that’s what I think.

It’s 10:38 pm and my diet is making me hungry. Of course I’m gonna go stuff my face. Instant gratification is what I live for.

Current Status: Daydreaming about a job

Now that I’ve done the first interview and I feel like I did well - whatever that really means- I can’t help thinking about my future job (I’m claiming it! dammit!). Oh the coffees I’ll fetch, the photocopies I’ll run, the spreadsheets I’ll build in Excel, the documents I’ll print for the 100th time because the last one was missing a comma, the deals I’ll close! Let’s have a round of applause for the world’s greatest intern! I’m reenergized and excited to rejoin the world of those who work but also have total control over their spending decisions. Grad school was a good ride but all good things must eventually come to an end. Besides, this is kind of my dream job if I dreamt or even dreamt about jobs. Now…I’ll just wait patiently by my cell phone while it’s perpetually being charged and placed strategically at the spot in the room where I have full signal.

The universe is fucking with me! It has unleashed some kind of digital ghosts to fuck with my work! After spending soooo much time translating a document and preparing a nicely decorated table to make my text look not so meagre and boring, said table is now nowhere to be found! What’s strange is that all the words are present, down to the last fullstop, so I know that I’d saved everything but the damn table has disappeared. It has even disappeared from earlier versions that I had saved. And yes, I returned every now and then to admire the beauty of the table or to make some reference to its contents. Now it’s gone and I’m pissed as hell. I need to yell at someone and I’m seriously considering calling up Sun Microsystem’s customer service. Someone has to take the blame and I know it’s not me.

By the way, are you still a customer if the software is free?

Sooo apparently salad is not such a terrible idea with the appropriate dressing. Who knew? I always thought it was just too grass-y for me. I’m on a roll with these discoveries today! If I keep it up I’ll be a whole new person by midnight. 

I’ve stumbled upon something that has definitely increased my productivity by 500%. It’s called waking up early getting the hell out of bed (or not), and hitting the ground running! Damn, why didn’t I know about this earlier? It’s too good to be true, like one of those items they hawk on late night infomercials except this is the real deal. I can’t believe the day isn’t done yet because I feel like I’ve done three days worth of work and it’s just 2 pm! whew! This is my big Eureka moment- the discovery of my lifetime!

Is it one of those truthy days yet?

One of my deepest fears is living an unsatisfactory life. Yes, that sounds really vague but it sums it up nicely. It would really break my heart if I spent my years being less than happy most of the time. As is often said, I want to live and not just exist (and believe me I know the difference between the two). I want to feel every moment.  Experiencing all the shades of life- crimson is not red and magenta is not pink - is my main desire. I want to spend my days doing things that matter, things that colour the rich tapestry that is my life.

In pursuit of this perennial state of gratification (or in avoidance of perennial boredom) I keep setting new goals for myself then bask in the glow that comes with finally getting something you’ve worked hard for. I suppose that’s what drug addicts feel like with each hit (?)

I saw something once on the internet that read “Three grand essentials for happiness in life are:

   Something to do

   Something to love

   Something to look forward to”

and I couldn’t agree more.

…but then I also fear that I’ll waste my life chasing that high and so I try to remain grounded and convince myself to do what is normal, what is expected. I fear that my need to seek fulfillment betrays flaws I don’t want to admit that I have. I don’t want to say that I’m spoiled, or lazy, or selfish, or avoiding real responsibility.  Sigh. Life…

I can’t help using correct punctuation on twitter. I mean, who does that? I’m such a square :/

I went for a run this evening since I was feeling guilty for having hoovered some ice cream earlier today. To make it seem like more of an adventure and not just a regular oh my gawd I hope I don’t get fat kind of gig, I brought my camera to take a few snaps of the scenery and it was worth it. If only I could capture more than just the image but the ambiance in general - the sounds, the gentle wind, the setting sun casting a warm glow on your neck. Nature is lovely.